Book Review: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man
The movie Think Like a Man has de-throned The Hunger Games as #1 in the box office this past weekend. For those of you who don’t know, Think Like a Man is based off of a self-help and dating advice book by comedian Steve Harvey entitled Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment. I read this book a few years back, and had mixed feelings. Some of the advice given to women is sound, and other pieces are misguided.
The great advice reads much the same as other popular dating advice books like He’s Just Not That Into You
. Stop justifying his bad behavior, and start looking at these actions with a more critical eye. If you haven’t been introduced to his friends, you’re not his primary relationship. A man who says “I love you” too soon probably has some mental issues. Stop dating the first thing that comes along, and start having standards.
The bad advice, however is pretty bad. For starters, Harvey refers to the act of sex, and to female genitalia as “the cookie”. He counsels you to hold on to “the cookie” for at least three months after you start to date a man. What Harvey fails to understand is that this advice is not always necessary for a woman who has taken his other advice to heart. I believe a woman should have sex with her partner whenever she feels that it is the most appropriate. If she wants to wait, then she should. If she wants to bring her date inside for “coffee” at the end of the first date, then she should. By putting a mandatory wait on physical intimacy, it feels like Harvey is advocating playing head games with your partner.
Harvey also counsels women to start “acting like women”, by refusing to take out the trash or mow the lawn, and by starting to wear lingerie and to put on makeup before leaving the house. I can’t even begin to describe how silly I think this is. Why should a woman wait for someone else to take care of housework if she can do it herself?
There are other issues with Harvey’s advice, but most of it is good. While I look forward to seeing the comedic adaptation, I would caution other women from taking Harvey’s advice too seriously.
If you’d like to purchase the two books I referenced above, please help support this blog by purchasing them through the links above.