Monthly Archives: February 2012

A Nice Girl’s Guide to Dating Multiple People

As I said in Part 5 of My Story, I spent a year of my life dating multiple people. In that year, I dated 12 men, and I averaged dating 3 at any given time. Although the temptation to just settle down with one of these guys was strong, I knew that if I did, I wasn’t dating the best person that I could date. I found that I stopped accepting dangerous or abusive behavior from my dates, because I had the self-confidence to know that they weren’t the only person out there who wanted to spend time with me. Read the rest of this entry

My Story: Part 5

Part 5 of My Story occurs In 2010. You can find Part 1 here, Part 2 here, Part 3 here, and Part 4 here.

I had just moved out of my boyfriend’s apartment, and was sharing an apartment with one of my closest friends in downtown San Francisco. Read the rest of this entry

My Story: Part 4

Part 4 of My Story takes place in my first two years in San Francisco. You can find Part 1 here, Part 2 here, and Part 3 here. At the end of Part 3, I had moved to San Francisco after my parents helped me escape my abusive marriage. I had a job that I loved, I was renting a room in a nice house, and I made a couple of friends, including Charles, the guy I dated in-between my marriage and my move. I was also using a dating website at the time to look for dates. Once again, all names, except for my ex-husband’s name, have been changed in this story. Read the rest of this entry

My Story: Part 3

Part 3 of my story will cover the three years I was with my ex-husband, Jason, and the period of our divorce. You can find Part 1 here, and Part 2 here. Just as in previous posts, all names have been changed, except my ex-husband’s name. It is a very long post, because I want my readers to know exactly what I went through. Warning: the following story may be triggering to those who have suffered through an abusive relationship. Read the rest of this entry

My Story: Part 2

I apologize for the tardiness of this post.  Part 2 of my story covers my two years in college. I learned a lot about myself in this time, and had some life changing experiences. With the exception of my ex-husband, all names have been changed.  You can find Part 1 here. Read the rest of this entry

My Story: Part 1

In requesting feedback from some of my friends, I have been told that although the previous pieces are informative and easy to read, they feel a little encyclopedic. I’ve been told that I should inject more of my personal experience into my writing, as that is the entire purpose of a blog. This series of posts is the hardest piece of personal writing I have ever done.  It may very well be the hardest piece of writing that I will ever do. This is my story, and how I became a Nice Girl Who Likes Sex Too. Read the rest of this entry

The Contraception Controversy: A Nice Girl Perspective

This picture has been making the rounds on Facebook recently.  It has a lot of really important statistics, but I would like to point out a couple of things.

1. Millions of women use hormonal birth control for reasons other than for contraception.  If a “house of worship” would be happy to cover the cost of Vicodin for post-surgery pain, why wouldn’t they also be happy to provide pain relief for women’s menstrual cramps, or the awful pain that is related to endometriosis?

2. Why is it a big deal if women want to be on birth control because they want to use it as a contraceptive?  Religious leaders seem to be absolutely obsessed with the state of a woman’s uterus.  For Christians, the argument seems to be that using contraception goes Genesis 1:28 (“Be fruitful and multiply”).  With nearly 7 billion people on the planet today, that argument just isn’t relevant.

3. Religious leaders seem to honestly believe that they should be able to force women into the false dichotomy of “married women who have sex are saints” and “unmarried women who have sex are dirty sluts who deserve to be punished by being unhappy, disease ridden, single mothers who will never get out of poverty”.  There’s no middle ground in this argument.  At some other time, I will discuss The Purity Myth, which I believe is required reading for nice girls who like sex.

4. I would like to see an additional statistic here.  I recently read in the New York Times that areas with wide access to information about contraceptives, and contraceptives themselves, have fewer incidences of abortion.  One can correlate that there are fewer unintended pregnancies, and therefore fewer abortions.  (For those of you that somehow don’t know, abortion is a widely discussed and controversial topic in the US, and is particularly reviled among the religious.)

Lets get religion out of health care, out of legislation, and OUT of the bedroom.  What you or I do in private is nobody’s business.  If a woman wants to have sex, she should be able to do so without her employer or her health care provider making her feel like she is a bad person for wanting to do so without getting pregnant.  In the end, the only people who should have any voice in the matter are the ones in the sexual relationship, who would be the parents of any child that was conceived in that relationship.

Contraception: Birth Control Pills

Birth control pills revolutionized the way women approach sex in the 1960s, and they remain one of the most popular forms of contraception. In the United States, birth control pills can be obtained only via prescription, and there are many different varieties to choose from. Most birth control pills come in a package that holds 28 pills. 21 of these are pills that have hormones in them, and the other seven are generally sugar pills. Sometimes the other seven have iron in them too.

What They are Made Of, and How They Work
Birth control pills are generally a combination of two hormones that already occur naturally in your body: estrogen and progestin.

The estrogen prevents the ovaries from releasing eggs. The progestin changes the mucus in your cervix to make it harder for sperm to reach the uterus. If there is no egg, and the sperm can’t get to the uterus, there is no chance of becoming pregnant. Some types of birth control pills also change the uterine lining to make it harder for a fertilized egg to implant.

Things to Keep in Mind
Birth control pills are the most effective if they are taken at the same time every day. A lot of people make sure of this by carrying around their pills (a lot of pills come in a nice case for them), a bottle of water, and setting an alarm on their phone that goes off every day.

If you ever miss a pill, check the insert that should have come with your prescription. It will tell you what to do when you have forgotten to take a pill.

There are certain medicines that will make birth control pills less effective, especially antibiotics. If you are sexually active, taking birth control pills, and you are also on antibiotics, you should use a second form of birth control (like a condom) to make sure you do not get pregnant.

Birth control pills will only prevent you from getting pregnant. Unlike condoms, they will not give you ANY protection against STIs. If you are sexually involved with someone, and you do not know their STI status, you should use a barrier method as a second form of contraception to ensure that you do not contract an STI.

The Bottom Line
There are many different types of birth control pills, with different levels of hormones in each one. Sometimes one pill will give you side effects that you don’t like, and it is perfectly okay to talk to your doctor about these side effects and request to change to another type of pill. Every body is different, so it may take some time to find one that works the best for you.

The wide availability of birth control pills made it possible for a woman to have a satisfying sexual life without worrying about becoming pregnant. If you are thinking about becoming sexually active, you should talk to your doctor about getting a prescription for a contraceptive.

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