The Nice Girl’s Guide to Fellatio

Ooh!  A saucy and sexy topic to start your Monday off right.  Today’s post is most definitely Not Safe For Work, so for those of you who read Nice Girls at work, you might want to either switch to your mobile device or hold off until you are at home to read this one!

I realized this weekend that I have been doing a lot of ranting on my blog, and not a whole lot of awesome sex-positive posts.  This is a topic that I’ve been meaning to write about for quite some time now.  When discussing my blog with one of the lovely ladies at OSCON, Fiance was told that I should do a post about fellatio.  This particular lady said that was the number one thing she gets questions about from the younger ladies in her life.  Believe me, you don’t want to follow the directions you might find in something like Cosmopolitan!

So.  Fellatio, also known as “giving head”, a “blowjob”, or “sucking off”, is the act of giving oral stimulation to a sex partner’s penis.  But there’s so much more than just that clinical definition.

Obligatory safer sex cautions here: if you are with a new partner, or you don’t know your partner’s STI status (and please, don’t blindly trust “oh yeah, I’m totally clean”), there are flavored latex and polyurethane condoms that you can and should be using.  Every time.  No matter what.  You don’t want to have a gonorrhea or syphilis infection in your throat, do you?  Because that can totally happen.  He will still enjoy it, even with the condom on, I promise.

Okay, so there you are, with a penis in front of you.  It can seem pretty intimidating, especially if you’ve never done this before, and maybe you’ve seen some porn that scared the crap out of you.  As long as you are gentle, and make sure that your teeth don’t graze anything, pretty much anything you do will be appreciated by your partner.   Let’s start with the basics:

The glans of the penis is the slightly larger part at the end, and the rest of it is the shaft.  There may or may not be a foreskin still attached to the shaft, but if there is, then that can actually help you out here.   Start by touching, stroking or gently massaging the shaft and testicles, and maybe licking the testicles and shaft.  Don’t worry about getting your partner messy with your saliva.  In fact, he’ll enjoy it more if there is some lubrication.

The glans of the penis is the most sensitive part, so you’ll want to focus your efforts there.  Lick and lightly suck on the glans.  Loosely grip the shaft with one or two hands and stroke it up and down (this is where the saliva comes in handy, otherwise there is too much friction).

Make sure that you are enjoying yourself, and ask your partner to give you feedback during the act.  There may be particular things that he likes, but if you aren’t comfortable with a request, don’t feel compelled to do that particular thing.  “Deep throating” (taking the entire penis, or most of it, into your mouth, and perhaps down your throat) is never necessary, but if you feel comfortable with it and he requests it, then go ahead!

And there you go.  That is really all there is to giving great fellatio.  There are some variations that you can do, like moving your hands in a circular motion while also going up and down the shaft, massaging the testicles, using a vibrator on the shaft or testicles, and even prostate stimulation (using a finger or a vibrator inside his rectum to stimulate the prostate gland), but you’ve got the basics now.

I know that there are a lot of women who say they don’t enjoy performing fellatio because they find it tedious, or somehow demeaning.  While it is entirely up to you to decide what sex acts you are comfortable with, I have personally never understood how someone can not enjoy performing fellatio.  In fact, the same super awesome artist who created my logo (and who is just a generally cool chick all around) drew this to explain how a woman who enjoys performing fellatio might feel afterwards:

Yeah, pretty much.

As always, I’d love to know what you think in the comments.  Do you have any pointers for young ladies (or gentlemen) who are curious about performing fellatio?

Posted on August 27, 2012, in Dating, Sex Positive and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. It’s okay if your jaw starts to hurt, it’s natural! If it does, don’t be afraid to take a break and use your hands for a little bit.

  2. HAHA that comic is soo true, it’s how i felt this weekend in fact at our anniversary ;)

    tongue pressure can be a big key for some guys, also the general amount of pressure being used is important to know. Some guys like more some like less. communication is such a key factor when you’re starting a relationship with someone like this.

  3. Great post and loving the picture!
    If he’s not much of a talker try to listen out for his breathing/moaning; it’s a good guide
    Use hand’s during
    Don’t forget the balls (no, those weird things don’t have to go in your mouth but a hand rub seems to be greatly appreciated)
    Try to get breakfast in bed or something out of it :P

  4. Love the picture, it’s SO true :-D

  5. Definitly agree with using the hands, and like she said if the reciever isnt very talkative, youll know when theyre enjoying it, either by breathing or gentle movement of the hips, but dont over use these techniques, they can get boring. Save the felatio for special occassions, because when your with your partner a long time over use of anything can get boring. Just like doing it missionary style over and over, LOL

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